A Boxful of Trouble
by molliepup1
Summary: So, remember Harry's detention in HBP, where he had to recopy the Marauders' detention cards? Well, this is all of their detentions, as told from their point of view.


So, remember Harry's detention in HBP after he uses "sectumsempra" on Malfoy? He has to copy out all of James, Sirius, and Remus' old detention cards? Well, this is the Marauders' story of Hogwarts, particularly their "misdoings."

DISCLAIMER: No own Harry Potter. No sue.

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"_Now get to work, Potter."_

_Harry sighed at the task that lay ahead of him. Only Snape was able to think of such torturous detentions. Copying out detention cards, while not that bad of a detention, was still a pain in the ass. Only God knew how long Snape was going to keep him there, and combined with the twenty inch Transfiguration essay Harry had yet to write, he was guaranteed a sore hand later. Not only that, but Harry was sacrificing the quidditch match to be here. And Ginny…_

_Sighing once again, Harry picked up his quill and reached for the first card in the stack. _

**NAME: James Potter, Sirius Black**

**YEAR: First**

**OFFENSE: Dressed in oversized black robes and entered the kitchen on a wheelbarrow, threatening the house-elves under the assumed name "Dread Pirate Roberts"**

_Harry smiled, recognizing the allusion to the muggle film. His muggle English teacher had been especially fond of the Princess Bride, and had shown it in class._

**PUNISHMENT: Detention with Argus Filch. Must assist in scraping dead flobberworms from underneath the Quidditch stands. **

_Harry laughed quietly at the thought of Filch ordering his father and godfather around._

"_Something funny, Potter?"_

_Harry quickly straightened his face. "No, professor."_

"_Then get back to work."_

_Harry stiffened in his seat and pulled a second index card from the very large stack, and glanced at the faded ink words. _

**NAME: James Potter, Sirius Black**

**YEAR: First**

**OFFENSE: Transfigured several matches into needles, then produced mass advertisements proclaiming to offer acupuncture services in the Gryffindor common room. Advertisements exhibited scantily clad women with needles in highly inappropriate places.**

_Harry once again sniggered._

"_Potter."_

**PUNISHMENT: Double detention with Professor McGonagal. Must aid professor in transfiguring dirt into manure to be used in the greenhouses.**

_Not wanting to be yelled at by Snape again, Harry this time mentally laughed to himself as the images of his father up to his elbows in manure, being ordered around by Professor McGonagal were conjured in his mind. Reading the old detention cards as Harry continued to copy them out filled a void in Harry's mind; he learned just exactly what his father had done at his duration at Hogwarts. It was almost as though he was living his father's life…_

**NAME: James Potter, Sirius Black**

**YEAR: First**

**OFFENSE: Used an aging charm on the evening's plum pudding, and used a sticking charm to attach said plum pudding to Potter's neck. Hurried for Madam Pomfrey with the proclamation that Potter was suffering from "The Black Death." **

"I'm serious, Professor, look at him! He's got the black infections all over him!"

Madam Pomfrey leaned over to examine the spots on Potter's neck as he groaned from a bed in the hospital wing. "It smells rather like plum pudding," she said skeptically. "And given the reputation that the two of you have earned in your two short months at Hogwarts, I wouldn't be surprised if it was."

At this, James curled up and emitted a loud howl of pain. "…Can't…hold on…much…longer…"

"See professor!" shouted Sirius. "He's clearly in pain!"

Madame Pomfrey gathered some of the black substance and stuck it in her mouth. "It is plum pudding!" she exclaimed. "And what's this?" she said, examining the spot once again. "A sticking charm?"

James immediately stood straight up, clearly annoyed. "Dammit, Sirius, I told you we should have covered our tracks up more thoroughly!"

"That's not my fault!" said Sirius, irritated. "I wasn't the one who dashed out of the common room in a huff after Remus threatened to tell McGonagal on us!"

"That's it!" exclaimed Madam Pomfrey, grabbing both Sirius and James by the ear and dragging them from the infirmary to a rather confused Professor McGonagal that had just exited her office down the hall. "Professor," she said, "these two have been up to trouble again."

"Again?" A shocked Professor McGonagal raised her eyebrow accusingly at James and Sirius.

Madam Pomfrey motioned towards James. "This one claimed that he had the Black Death. Turns out that it was really just plum pudding."

Professor McGonagal snorted, unamused." Well then, Mr. Potter and Mr. Black, I will expect to see you in my office first thing this Saturday night at eight-o-clock sharp for your detention."

**PUNISHMENT: Must clean all of the dinner dishes by hand, without the use of magic or assistance from the house elves. **

"Oh my God," said Sirius, flopping into one of the Gryffindor common room's squashy red armchairs at one-o-clock Saturday evening. "I don't think I've ever felt this tired."

"Yeah, well at least you didn't get the pan that had all of the left over macaroni and cheese," said James bitterly, following suit.

The Gryffindor common room had grown dark and empty in the hours of their detention. The dying embers in the fireplace provided the only light, but they could still see the door leading up to the boys' dormitories creak open. "Is that you, Remus?" asked Sirius, craning his head to look up. Remus crept downstairs.

"How are you two?" questioned Remus, eyeing the collapsed pair.

"Shitty."

The reply did not require a longer explanation.

"Don't you guys ever feel guilty, always getting yourselves in trouble like this?" Remus tiptoed towards the fire and squashed himself into an armchair. The fire was nearly burnt out, and cast an eerie glow on the faces of James and Sirius.

Sirius sniggered. "Oh, Remus, our little innocent."

"I'm not innocent!" objected Remus unsuccessfully.

"Oh, Remus." James sighed. "Are you kidding? Causing trouble is the most fun I've ever had in my life. It's just the getting caught part that sucks."

Remus merely stared at James. "James. You always get caught."

"Something I intend to rectify in the future," was James' nonchalant reply.

"You know," said Sirius, leaning forward, "you should join us sometime, Remus."

"Absolutely not!"

James too leaned forward, thinking. "Yeah, Sirius, that's a good idea. What should we pull this time? Out of bed after hours? Or what about that secret passage you found just the other day?"

Sirius' face lit up. "You mean the one that leads to Hogsmeade, right under Honeydukes?"

Remus started in his seat. "Absolutely not. I refuse to leave the school premises. In fact," he said huffily, standing up and making for the dormitories, "I refuse to take place in this little scheme of yours at all."

"Not so quick, Remus." James grabbed Remus' arm and dragged him back to their circle of armchairs. Remus reluctantly sat down again.

"So, James," said Sirius pensively. "I'm thinking that we'll sneak into Honeydukes, nab a caseload of butterbeer, and have a little 'celebration.'"

Remus struggled, but was held down once again by James, who, while still scrawny, had slightly more muscle than the bookish Remus.

"Hmm, let's see, next Saturday?"

Remus started again, but not because he was concerned with getting into trouble. "Actually," he said uncomfortably, "I have to go home next Saturday. My aunt, you see, she's having surgery, and as she doesn't have any other relatives to be with her, I have to go." He shifted in his seat and avoided James' gaze.

"No problem, then. We'll do it on Friday, instead."

Remus sighed, giving in. "Okay."

**NAME: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin**

**YEAR: First**

**OFFENSE: Somehow (in a method unbeknownst to school employees) snuck into Hogsmeade and obtained a crate of butterbeer. **

Remus was twitchy about James and Sirius' scheme for that night. It was not that he didn't have fun whenever the pair convinced him to pull various stunts with him, he just didn't like getting caught and knowing that McGonagal or some other professor thought less of him. Remus liked having the highest regards of everyone, with the exception, possibly of James and Sirius themselves.

Not to mention the fact that the full moon was tomorrow night. He was always twitchy before the full moon. It was the canine instinct in him.

"Six hours and counting!" whispered Sirius excitedly to him that day during History of Magic.

Six hours later, the trio stood outside a statue of an ugly crone with a protruding hump on her back. Quietly, James whispered a few words that sounded like complete gibberish to Remus, and slipped inside a small opening.

"You guys, are you sure that we should do this? I mean, McGonagal…"

Sirius punched Remus lightly. "Chill. Everything will be okay."

Sirius slipped into the opening in the statue, and Remus, taking one last look down the hall to make sure that no one was watching, followed suit.

"Haha, off to Honeydukes we go!" whispered Sirius excitedly.

They climbed. And they climbed some more. And climbed. Remus at one point tripped, which caused the other two to break out into chuckles and exclaim "Remus, you klutz!" But for the most part, they climbed.

And then Remus' head hit something hard, which caused him to let out a loud "Ow!"

"Why thank you, Remus," whispered Sirius, laughing, "for finding our exit."

The pair hoisted themselves into the Honeydukes storeroom, grabbed themselves butterbeer, and slowly crawled back to the castle. Remus then learned the meaning of a 'celebration.'

**OFFENSE (CON'T): Used the butterbeer to intoxicate all of the house elves and used the empty bottles to have an especially raucous game of Spin the Bottle.**

Professor Sprout took a bite of the evening's treacle tart. "Good heavens!" she exclaimed.

"Is something wrong, Pomona?" asked an alarmed Professor McGonagal.

Professor Sprout nodded, taking a violent swig of pumpkin juice, only to wince distastefully at its unusual bitterness. "The food tonight seems to taste unusually strange. I could have sworn that there was salt in my tart instead of sugar."

Professor McGonagal nodded. "Yes, I noticed that. My roast lamb seemed to be exceptionally burnt as well. I think I may slip down to the kitchens for just a minute to see if there is something wrong with the house elves."

A hundred feet below them, the Hogwarts house elves sat in a large circle, having abandoned their cooking, or severely sabotaging what food they had bothered to complete. The large tables had been shoved to the side of the room to make extra room for the excitement.

A flushed Sirius stood in the middle of the room, a large empty bottle in hand. "And now…and now…." he stuttered. "I mean, I would like to propose a toast."

Similarly red-faced and absent-minded, Remus and James raised their own bottles. The house elves followed suit.

"…There once was a woman from Venus," began Sirius. James burst into laughter. "Whose body was shaped like a-"

"That's quite enough, Mr. Black," objected Professor McGonagal. The Professor then took a look at her surroundings. "What the bloody Hell is going on down here?"

Remus laughed drunkenly. "Ha…ha….Professor said 'Hell'…"

"And to think that you're a part in this too, Mr. Lupin!" reprimanded Professor McGongagal. She shoved him to his feet, and followed suit with James. "All three of you, up to my office at once!"

James muttered only two words. "Aww, shit!"

"Language, Potter!"

**PUNISHMENT: Must work with Professor McGonagal in sorting and organizing a storage roomful of potion materials to sell and repay Honeydukes for the stolen butterbeer. Must also skip all Wednesday dinners for the following month in order to attend "cooking lessons" with the house elves. **

_Harry smiled to himself, reading the latest detention slip. The sky had grown a grey-blue with time. He had not even thought of the quidditch match in hours, or what the possible outcome might be. Grimacing slightly, Harry returned to his work and picked up the next slip…_

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Yay, I hope you enjoyed! The writing will be getting better with time, as I get used more to the format. I'll probably end up flitting from character to character like I did a bit for Remus, but who knows. If you've any critiques or suggestions, leave a review.

So, see that little button that says 'review'? Click it. _  
_


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